Give me reason, but don't give me choice.

27 days to exams!

2010-05-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

I am now a 272 ACCA lesson veteran. That's at least 816 hours spent at Kaplan (over the period from July 2008 to May 2010). Which works out to slightly over 34 days non-stop. Now, for the exams!

clock's ticking. better be toiling!

2010-04-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

How time flies! It's been exactly 3 months after ORD, so half my "holiday" is already over!

7 weeks from now, I'll probably be in Senai, Johor for church camp! Not to mention that I'll be in the midst of my ACCA exams. :/

7 more weeks to exams!! Time for another all-action surge towards the finish line..

A typical Friday

2010-03-26T16:09:00.000+08:00

10am - wake up
10.30am - read Bible
11.30am - leave for the Singapore Swimming Club (SSC)
12.10am - reach SSC, hit the gym
1.30pm - finish gym, shower then lunch @ SSC, buy dinner back
2pm - return home
2.40pm - reach home.
3pm - study
5pm - dinner & shower
6.10pm - go to Kaplan for class
6.45pm - ACCA class, module P5 Advanced Performance Management
9.50pm - class ends, return home
10.30pm - read the papers
11pm - study
12.30am - zzz

A typical Thursday

2010-03-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

9.30am - wake up
10am - read Bible
10.45am - study
11.30am - 3-4km run
12.30pm - lunch
1.20pm - leave the house & travel to Kaplan (in Somerset) via MRT
2pm - ACCA class, module P1 Professional Accountant
5pm - class ends, come home via MRT
6pm - read newspapers/clear email
7.30pm - dinner
8pm - wash dishes
8.30pm - study/read
12.30am - zzz

A typical Wednesday

2010-03-24T16:00:00.002+08:00

8.30am - wake up, breakfast
9.15am - leave the house & travel to Kaplan (in Somerset) via MRT
9.45am - ACCA class, module P4 Advanced Financial Management
1.10pm - class ends, return home
1.40pm - lunch @ home
2pm - read/clear emails/study
5pm - dinner & shower
6.10pm - return to Kaplan for class
6.45pm - ACCA class, module P3 Business Analysis
9.50pm - class ends, return home
10.30pm - read the papers
11pm - study
12.30am - zzz

A typical Tuesday

2010-03-23T12:55:00.000+08:00

9.30am - wake up
10am - read Bible
10.45am - study
11.30am - 3-4km run
12.30pm - lunch
1.20pm - leave the house & travel to Kaplan (in Somerset) via MRT
2pm - ACCA class, module P2 Corporate Reporting
5pm - class ends, come home via MRT
6pm - read newspapers
7pm - help to cook
7.45pm - dinner
8pm - wash dishes
8.30pm - go to Serangoon central NTUC with mum to do groceries
9.30pm - reach home, sort & keep groceries
10pm - read newspapers & shower
11pm - study/read
12.30pm - zzz

A typical Monday

2010-03-22T17:52:00.001+08:00

10am - wake up
10.30am - read Bible
11.30am - 3-4km run
12.30pm - lunch
1pm - read/clear emails
2pm - study/run errands (collect passport, go for appointments etc)
5pm - study
7pm - help to cook
8pm - dinner
8.30pm - wash dishes
9pm - shower & read the papers
10pm - study/read
1am - zzz

2 months after ORD..

2010-03-22T15:50:00.001+08:00

I'm into my 3rd month of funemployment, and I'm loving every second of it!

PSPC - CHAMPIONS!

2010-02-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

Lousy Hat-Trick, but a hat-trick in any case.

2010-02-22T13:07:00.002+08:00

Paper Details		Mark(%)	Result
F7SGP	Fin. Rep.	58	Pass
F8SGP	Aud. & Ass.	53	Pass
F9	Fin. Man.	50	Pass

Ok, Thank God! Now I can move on with my life.. P1, P2, P3, P4 & P5 - here I come!!

t = 1 month

2010-02-22T12:57:00.001+08:00

It's been exactly a month since ORD.

The results for last December's ACCA exams will be released at 1pm, and I find myself camping in front of my laptop now. The final legacy of my NS days is settled today.

Now we wait.

zhng my eyes

2010-01-28T21:27:00.002+08:00

The LASIK surgery went well! Thank you God!

This is where the fun begins..

2010-01-22T13:49:00.001+08:00

22nd January 2010 - 2nd August 2010: One holiday to rule them all!

You Belong With Me

2010-01-22T09:54:00.000+08:00

pink IC, YOU BELONG WITH MEE EE EE

ETERNITY has been served at last!

2010-01-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

ORD LOH!

10 things I'll miss about NS

2010-01-21T17:50:00.007+08:00

free food at the cookhouse!
all my good buddies (all have ORD-ed already)
the great people at MPB & MSB
the water dispenser beside my desk
lame emails on "what's on radio"
not worrying about what I'll have to wear.
all the smiles, laughter and jokes (yes, in camp!)
the all expenses paid medical treatment - thanks to the green credit card (i.e. 11B)
free printing of all my notes & reading material :p
saying hi to - and recognising almost every person I meet.

10 things I've learnt in NS

2010-01-20T19:51:00.000+08:00

Observe your surroundings carefully. Being able to adapt quickly usually makes the difference between heaven & hell.
Sometimes, when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut. And never ever ever lose your credibility, cause the moment you do, you're pretty much screwed.
have no part in office politics.
being sincere to others almost always pays off.
learn to look at the doughnut instead of the hole in the doughnut.
time flies when you're not looking at the clock.
efficiency counts. not the number of hours you spend working.
I'm never working late on Friday nights. Never.
perseverance.
It's always a pleasure to serve. :)

So what has this NS experience turned me into? I dare not say wiser, for that is not for me to assess.

But more experienced? A resounding aye!

10 important things I've done/I'll do during NS

2010-01-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

Surrendering my pink IC
shaving my head botak 4 times
Making one of the best decisions in my life in deciding to leave AOD
Earned my driving licence!
Cleared 9 ACCA qualication papers!
Attended classes for all 14 ACCA modules
making my spiritual life & walk with God my number 1 priority
starting to serve on the TCH ops team!
finishing my ORD clearance
Collecting my pink IC

10 of my most memorable moments in NS

2010-01-18T19:36:00.001+08:00

25th January 2008 - Enlistment Day at sunny Pulau Tekong
1st April 2008 - Posted to HQ RSAF, 1st day at AOD
1st May 2008 - NUS accepts me into FASS
19th September 2008 - Last day at AOD
22nd September 2008 - 1st day at ALD
3rd November 2008 - 1st day at MPB
31st April 2009 - Presented the "Outstanding Serviceman of the Month" award by Head Air Logistics
5th January 2010 - New understudy arrives
15th January 2010 - My farewell lunch @ Brewbakers. I also received my ORD plaque, Certificate of Service, Testimonial, a wonderful set of signature pens (with my name engraved) and Popular bookstore Vouchers.
22nd January 2010 - ORD LOH!

this clock never seemed so alive

2010-01-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

9 days to t=0!

All Good Things come in 2010

2009-12-31T17:45:00.008+08:00

10 things to look forward to in 2010:

22 Jan - ORD LOH!!!!
Going for LASIK surgery? (Possibly in late January, after ORD)
The 6 month HOLIDAY that will follow all the way till the day Uni starts!
Early June - WORLD CUP BEGINS
13 June - 21st Birthday!
Sometime in August - University begins!
Clearing as many ACCA papers as possible!
Serving on the TCH Ops team
enjoying the company & fellowship of all my friends & family!
another year to experience and enjoy God's love & faithfulness

10 things I'm grateful for in 2009.

2009-12-27T18:22:00.005+08:00

Passing F4, F5 & F6! (ACCA qualification papers)
Being able to work in a wonderful environment in HQ RSAF's Air Logistics Department's Materials Planning Branch
For all the experiences that I've had, both good & bad, that have helped me to grow spiritually, mentally, intellectually & emotionally.
All my wonderful church friends & mentors who have been a real support & encouragement to me! love you guys!! :)
Old friends like Jonathan, Gabriel & Clarence, who still care despite their busy schedules. And for my dear cousin Joshua, who's been providing me with good Godly advice.
My mum & dad, who have been, and still are, taking care of me & supporting me in all my endeavours! :)
My place at NUS FASS in AY 2010! (it's been confirmed since last year, but I'm still grateful for it everyday!)
For being in relatively good health for the entire year.
Being able to serve more actively in Church.
And most of all, the love, grace, faithfulness & mercy of God, without which I would have never made it through. :)

I could continue, and the list would go on & on & on... but these will have to be the top 10.
Well, I'm glad that 2009 is coming to an end. Now, for New Year, then at long last.................ORD LOH!!

The reason for the season!

2009-12-25T16:47:00.003+08:00

"Christmas Must Be Something More" - Taylor Swift

What if ribbons and bows didn't mean a thing

Would the song still survive without five golden rings
Would you still wanna kiss without misletoe
What would happen if God never let it snow
What would happen if Christmas carols told a lie
Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

What if angels did not pay attention to
All the things that we wished they would always do
What if happiness came in a cardboard box
Then I think there is something we all forgot
What would happen if presents all went away
Tell me what would you find

You'd see that today holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to the birthday boy who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
So here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something more

We get so caught up in all of it
Business and relationships
Hundred mile an hour lives
And it's this time of year
And everybody's here
It seems the last thing on your mind

Is that the day holds something special
Something holy, not superficial
So here's to Jesus Christ who saved our lives
It's something we all try to ignore
And put a wreath up on your door
But here's something you should know that is for sure
Christmas must be something
Christmas must be something
Christmas must be something more

There's gotta be more
There's gotta be more

Have yourself a most blessed CHRISTmas! :)

2009-12-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

1 MORE MONTH TO ORD!!!!!!

You know you're in ORD mood when (part 4)..

2009-12-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

Your vocabulary disintegrates into a few words comprising of:

dunno
don't care
heck
not my problem
just leave it to......
ORD LOH

la la la la la la la life is wonderful..

2009-12-17T20:24:00.001+08:00

This Christmas, the only liquidity issues I'll be dealing with will be in a tall, frosty glass!

PARADISE AWAITS!!

2009-12-15T23:45:00.002+08:00

Okay, so exams ended today. I can honestly say I'm not too worried about the results. Yes, I may have messed up Financial Management, but hopefully I can bag a pass for all 3 papers and move on. Not getting my hopes up for anyone of them though. Audit & Financial Reporting were do-able. I'm just glad to be done with them. Now, we wait till 22 February (exactly 1 month after ORD!) for the results.

In the meantime, I'm going to start preparing for the Church thanksgiving dinner @ Bottle Tree park on Boxing day, cell group Christmas gathering, Campus Hub's New Year's retreat and everything else that I've been meaning to do, but have been putting off cause of the exams.

Now, for Christmas, New year, and finally...... ORD!!!

OH YEAH BABYYYYYY

2009-12-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

Dear Heavenly Father, I confess that very often, I have placed myself, other things or even other people at the centre of my life, and as a result, I have strayed away from your loving arms. I have stubbornly clung to my ways, instead of allowing you to work within me. I have taken counsel with myself, instead of seeking you for counsel.

For all those times that I have strayed, O Lord, forgive me, and renew within me a steadfast spirit - one that will bring forth praise & worship to your Name. I thank you for the year that has gone by, and it is my prayer that I will make a commitment to dedicate 2010 to you by putting you at the centre of my life. And may my faith in You never waiver. Amen.

2009-12-08T15:30:00.003+08:00

So my exams start tomorrow, and I just want to get them done and over with. 3 papers, 3 cup finals. Financial Reporting, Audit & Assurance, Financial Management - you're going down!

Time for another late surge - typical Luke style.

2009-11-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

2 more months to ORD!

You know you're in ORD mood when (part 3)..

2009-11-17T18:04:00.003+08:00

You hear a song on radio, and you instantly think about your PINK IC..

e.g. as follows..

(To my Pink IC): Come Back To Me - David Cook
(To my Pink IC): My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
(To my Pink IC): You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
2 (11B & Pink IC) Is Better than 1 (11B) - Boys Like Girls

You know you're in ORD mood when (part 2)..

2009-11-16T17:59:00.001+08:00

You have 3 more weeks to your exams & gazillions of stuff left to cover, but all your woes instantly dissipate at the thought of your ORD in 9 weeks time.

You know you're in ORD mood when (part 1)..

2009-11-10T11:33:00.003+08:00

You tell yourself "I may have to study (during this 6 day MC), but hey! THIS IS DA LIFEEE MANZZ. AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO CAMP! WOHOOOOOO!"

Operation Tooth Fairy

2009-11-09T11:31:00.001+08:00

Was a resounding success. Taking 6 (days)!
My jaw aches like mad, but I think the pain is worth the MC.

Time to go hit the books.. exactly a month left to the exams. :(

Goodyear

2009-11-03T11:37:00.001+08:00

Today marks my 1st Anniversary in MPB, & although my stay here is coming to an end, I thank God that I'm here and nowhere else. :)

ETERNIT Y

2009-10-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

3 more months to ORD!

The Entry Into Double Figures

2009-10-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

99 more days to ORD!

A (healthy) dose of poetic justice

2009-09-23T20:00:00.006+08:00

Life can be so strange at times. Have you ever realised that the more you don't want something to happen, all the more it does? It's as if there's some sort of twisted divine inverse relationship between wanting something, and getting it.

It is fitting and somewhat ironic that, having been in ALD for exactly 1 year & 1 day, I find myself in a rather interesting (some might say sketchy) situation. Just when I was getting ready to sit back, relax (not in the literal sense of the word) and slowly wind down my remaining 4 months, my world suddenly gets turned upside down after a single phone call and a trip down to the registry.

Alas, this must be justice being served for my rather laid back attitude in recent weeks. This was hardly the opportune moment for someone new to come in. But alas, God's timing is perfect. I am now perpetually on my toes - for the entire day.

I am now an upperstudy (i.e. mentor to the person who will eventually take over me after I ORD). My every move will now be scrutinized, and finally - I have to hold myself to account for my own sky-high standards. As my encik told my understudy, "Luke has set the KPI (key-performance indicators). You either rise above it, or meet it. But you must never fall below it."

I believed that I had learnt every lesson that NS had to teach me. How wrong I was. NS has saved it's best for last. They say that your education is never truly complete until you become the teacher. I am learning that truth every single day. After everything I've learnt, the time has finally come to transfer this knowledge. This last 3 months & 30 days will possibly be the most challenging out of the entire 24 month-long NS. This is when I build my legacy. The training I give my understudy will be my legacy. And hopefully in time, he will grow out of my shoes and walk in his own.

Wow. We're talking about legacy issues here. It is now my job to ensure that he rises above my standards. He must be better than me. Or at least that's the goal that I've set for myself. Benchmarks & standards - They're all there to be bettered.

I find that with each passing day, certain views and hidden prejudices of mine are being brought to light. I've always thought of myself as a rather objective person (honestly!), but it seems that even the best of us find it difficult to be impartial (how humble of myself). I must now overcome my prejudices if I am to do a good job of things.

Dear God, I know I'm going to be in for a challenging & exciting final ride. Help me to come out of this ride unscathed, stronger and wiser. Cause after that, the world's waiting.

This is NOT a satire

2009-09-22T20:59:00.005+08:00

I hail from the sunny island of Lyonpura, where chewing gum in public places is banned, and you can be fined for smoking in public places.

I started my professional career at Nationale Sevilla F.C at the tender age of 18, after I finished my A Levels. Shortly after signing for them, I was shipped off to one of Nationale Sevilla's feeder clubs located on a sunny island off the coast of Lyonpura to begin my footballing education. Nationale Sevilla's footballing education is renowned throughout the country for being a traditional rite-of-passage for any young aspiring male footballer.

My loan spell at the feeder club was short, and a rather mixed one. Following which, I was snapped up by Athletico Olympia, one of the elite clubs playing in the League of Champions. Athletico Olympia's stadium is called Mount Olympus, and is located in the district of Grease.

Upon arrival, I was told that Olympia was like a big family, where everybody helped each other out. The irony was that the coaches would complain (on an almost daily basis) about the manager. Mud-slinging, cursing and name-calling (all behind each other's back) were quite commonplace.

I told the club's management on my very 1st day there that I would be late for training often because I stayed in the outskirts of the city, and unlike the rest of the players in Athletico Olympia (or gods in Mount Olympus, for that matter), I was not earning nearly enough to buy a fancy Porche, Bentley, BMW or Audi to drive to work. As such, I often relied on public transport, and due to Grease's often jammed highways, I was often late for training.

The management was unhappy and often fined me my week's wages. They also resorted to draconian and unreasonable methods of punishment, like dropping me to the bench even though I was the best player by far in training. When I complained to the press about my ill-treatment, they forced me to play in the reserves and told me that I would rot there unless I kept my mouth shut.

I was always going to be just another statistic at Olympia. The manager would frequently complain about the current crop of players, and constantly compared us to players from the club's "glorious period" - in the days when Olympia won the League of Champions 9 times.

Even though I had the support of the club physiotheraphist and medical staff regarding my recurring back injury, the manager refused to believe them and insisted that I was skiving. The coaches would often complain to the manager about my perceived deficiencies during training. The manager, in turn, would threaten me with extra training sessions, which would rob me of precious time with my friends and family.

There was once when I was late for training (again..), I took a cab down, and despite the exorbitant fare - which would already have served as a fine for 1 day's worth of wages, they still insisted that I was at fault - and forced me to attend extra training sessions with the reserves.

Also, there was another incident when I went out for a stroll with a team-mate (who would leave for the American MLS shortly after) without informing the manager. Upon finding out, the manager was furious and questioned my commitment to training & the club.

I had enough. I saw the medical staff and requested for a letter stating that the long distances from my home to Mount Olympus were too long, and was unnecessarily exacerbating my injury. And that should it continue, it may render me unable to play for the rest of my life. The injury was career threatening. The club then agreed to my transfer request and allowed me to leave for free based on the bosman ruling. I bear no anathema towards Olympia's management, but I knew my position there was untenable. I would either leave on my own terms, or they would have made me rot in the reserves. In a sense, I jumped before I was pushed.

On my last day at the club, I was scolded by the manager for "failing to clean up the dressing room the day before", even though it was somebody else's responsibility. It seemed that they were still out to get my goat even though they knew I was leaving.

3 days after I left Olympia on mutual consent, I was signed by their cross-city rivals - Logarithm de Arithmetic F.C on a season-long contract. At last, I was free of Athletico Olympia's poisonous dressing room. 3 months after leaving Olympia, I gave an interview to the press. Naturally, the press coverage about Olympia was negative, and Olympia then threatened to sue me. After several heated exchanges between our Legal representatives, Olympia agreed to drop the case. They hadn't given up on trying to get back at me!

Since then, my form has been steadily increasing, and I am loving life at Logarithmic. I am alot fitter than I ever was during my time at Olympia, and I rarely miss trainings since I'm hardly injured nowadays. I was recently voted the club's player of the month in March, and if the rumours in the dressing room are to be believed, I may well be on my way to winning it again. The training sessions are at the right pace, with sufficient time allocated for self-practice.

Logarithmic treats it's players well and rewards them for good performance. I attended a gala dinner in May to celebrate Logarithmic's 40th anniversary. Occasionally, the manager and coaches will take me out for a celebratory meal after we win important games, or after a particularly good training session.

My time here at Logarithm de Arithmetic F.C has been well spent. I have been able to focus on achieving my UEFA coaching badges (which I started while I was still at Olympia), which will aid me in my future career after my playing days are over. To this date, I have finished 6 of the 14 requirements for the coaching badge, and will be clearing another 3 this December.

As much as I am enjoying my career here at Logarithm de Arithmetic, the life-span of a professional footballer in Lyonpura is not long. I will be heading to the National University of Lyonpura next year to earn a Bachelor of Arts Degree (in political science and/or economics) once my contract here expires on 22nd January 2010.

My name is Lucas Charlton, and for now, I play football.

This post is a work of fiction, and was written purely for the purpose of having a few laughs at myself and my brilliant life. This is in no way meant to be offensive towards any particular individual (unless you have ill-treated me in the past - and are feeling particularly pricked at the moment). Any resemblances to any person, dead or alive, are purely coincidental. I hope that you have enjoyed this not-so-satirical story nearly as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

2009-09-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

4 more months to ORD!

2009-08-22T00:00:00.001+08:00

5 more months to ORD!

F4, F5 & F6 DOWN! OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-08-17T23:33:00.000+08:00

So my results for the June 2009 ACCA exam were released today. I was waiting forever for the results to come via email, and when it did........... I started doing a crazy jig in the middle of my office. HAHA.

Lets see, that's F4, F5 & F6 down! (6 of 14 papers completed)

I've always maintained that I'll need some divine intervention to pass F5, and divine intervention is what I got. THANK YOU GOD! *points to the heavens - Kaka style*

I've just had the BEST MONDAY EVERRRR. :)

ETERNI TY

2009-07-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

6 more months to ORD!

as we approach ETERNI TY..

2009-07-16T23:32:00.001+08:00

jwwwwwwwww says:
eterni ty makes it seem like we have a very short time left
ETERNI TY says:
it is
compared to 24 months
darn
jwwwwwwwww says:
it's coming
190 days
ETERNI TY says:
we are coming to 100 work days
i did a rough calc with wisdoom tooth mc+off+balance leave
jwwwwwwwww says:
really we are?
no but
ETERNI TY says:
its abt 113 work days for me
jwwwwwwwww says:
i dont feel anything about work days
unless you tell me i can work 100 days straight and go
which i cant
so
its the whole thing
ETERNI TY says:
hmm
ok fair enuff\
but still
each time i walk down the corridor in the morning to my office
i tell myself
i only need to do this abt a 100 more times..
jwwwwwwwww says:
thats a good way
jwwwwwwwww says:
btw i love ur office
i think
i mean
i think i would love working there
ETERNI TY says:
haha
3rd floor leh
good stuff
jwwwwwwwww says:
it sure beats working in a building hidden in a stupid forest
ETERNI TY says:
hahahha
jwwwwwwwww says:
i mean the building makes me feel good
ETERNI TY says:
but still
jwwwwwwwww says:
like a piece of history
ETERNI TY says:
the building is old man
unless you're one for nostalgia
jwwwwwwwww says:
yeah precisely
yeah
i am

oh, the last 6 months can't seem to pass fast enough!

work: good. slack: bad.

2009-06-23T08:32:00.001+08:00

I quote Stanley Bing (business humourist and novelist who has a column in FORTUNE magazine) : "The moment the human animal is comfortable again, it immediately begins the important task of forgetting everything painful that has just happened to it."

Perhaps I'm getting too comfortable. Perhaps. Not the best sign? I don't have to look further than my previous post..

languid

2009-06-22T12:29:00.002+08:00

It's halfway through lunch time. I'm all alone in my office cubicle, leaning back on my chair and simply enjoying this lazy afternoon. The office is dead quiet, save for the buzzing of the air con.

"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz is playing in the background (tuning into 91.3 now), and the only item missing from this otherwise complete description of "slack" at it's epitome - is a tall drink complete with a long straw.

Ahhh... the simple things in life. I love days like these.

2009-06-22T00:00:00.001+08:00

7 more months to ORD!!

this is so unlike me, but here goes..

2009-06-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

I've actually been meaning to post this for some time. But being caught up in a seemingly endless exam prep and more recently, my post-exam activities, I never had the time to do so till today. So here goes..

I was listening to Taylor Swift's (DON'T LAUGH) album "Fearless" while I was studying one Saturday. And so it came to pass that I heard this song titled "The Best Day". Although it's told from a girl's perspective, and it's estrogen-laden enough to make any guy's stomach churn (slightly), I actually found the lyrics quite meaningful. The song's dedicated to her family, and for once in her life, there are actually rainbows & butterflies.

As the song played on, I recalled all the times mum & dad were there for me when I needed them, and I'd hate to admit it, but I was actually close to tears by the end of the song. I never ever get anywhere remotely close to being this emotional (according to my friends, I have about the same amount of emotional sensitivity as a brick), but this was really it. All the memories of every single wonderful thing they did that's still in my memory came flooding back. From the time I was 3 all the way to this day.

The memories flash through my mind:

I'm 4 years old and my dad's bringing me out to the car park in Braddel View to quite literally, fly a kite. The kite's flying high in the sky, and I don't have a care in the world at all.

I'm 7 years old and I'm in primary school. I don't give two hoots about my studies. I still do relatively ok, but mum & dad are hoping for so much more from me.

I'm 12 years old and I've just recieved my PSLE results. Pathetic. I do well enough to comfortably get into Express stream. Dad's placid. Mum's livid. I was too young to understand the pain & disappointment they must have felt then.

I'm 14 now and I've just messed up my secondary 2 streaming exams. I get into the second-last express class. I have no pure science and no add-maths. My future looks bleak. Mum goes to school to talk to that arse of a maths HOD on the day that my prefect induction camp starts. The appeal fails. My election to the prefectorial board is perhaps the only event worth remembering in an otherwise totally horrible year - possibly the worst year of my life so far. I wake up my idea and study hard from then on..

I'm 16, and I'm in my O Level year. I'm doing well in school. Acing everything and topping my class. Dad & mum are pleased. So am I. Mum sends me to school every single day of my exams. I top my class for O Levels and score 5 distinctions. Suddenly, the future's bright again.

I'm 17. And I'm in my dream school - SAJC..doing the subject combination of my choice. But I'm not enjoying myself at all. I spend everyday wondering how on earth people could be so mean & horrible. Politics is the name of the game and I'm hating it. I come home every night complaining to my parents.. and they patiently advise me - perhaps my true worth is not found in what other people think about me. I change my attitude, and people start to get nicer. We're friends now and everything's cool. Maybe I was the jerk..not them..

I'm 18 now and on the very 1st day of my A Levels, I totally lose the plot. I mess up physics paper 3. The weight of MY own expectations, hopes and fears is quite literally killing me. I'm going nights on end with absolutely no sleep. I'm losing grip on my sanity, but on the surface, I look calm and ready. The fear of losing everything that I had fought so hard for in the last 4 years is quite literally, on a knife's edge. And the thought of failure is killing me. On that fateful day, I come home and I simply break down. I cry and weep so bitterly, more than I've ever done my entire life (at least until that point). Mum hugs me and reassures me. I put aside all my fears and face the rest of the exam. I make it into NUS eventually - into the Faculty and course of my choice.

I'm 19. I'm a full time National Serviceman. I come home from camp one night after duty. My left ear is totally blocked. It's ringing very loudly and I can't hear from my left side. My world is spinning and I can't get up after I lie down on my bed. I begin to vomit. Once, twice, thrice, 4 times, 5 times.. Dad gets a bucket for me to puke in & gets mum to call 995. The ambulance arrives and rushes me to CGH. I'm still trying to vomit in the ambulance. I can't stand up, I can't even bear to open my eyes. My world is spinning, or maybe I am. The A&E doctor gives me an anti-vertigo jab and I see black. I wake up at 5am in the morning, and there dad is. Sitting straight on the chair and sleeping. He watched me through the night even after my world went dark.

I turned 20 3 days ago. I'm going to ORD in exactly 7 months and 5 days. NS is good since the move to ALD. ACCA exams just ended and I was studying with whatever time I could find. Mum made sure I got nurtitious food to eat everyday. Mum & dad have been granting me a great deal of autonomy - almost to the point of independence for the past 4-5 years. Perhaps they think I've earned my freedom. They leave almost every single choice there is to make to me. I'm almost totally my own government, and they are happy to sit back and provide the financial support, and other random ad-hoc things to make life easier for me as I rush all over the place. I'm still single. Mum doesn't mind that of course, but I know she's been praying hard that I find a good woman. haha. Perhaps I already have the right girl in mind, but then again, the heart of the girl I love is not mine to earn. It is God's to give (and her's to give as well). I don't think I'm going to be in a relationship anytime soon. But I'm willing to wait. 1st things 1st, God is and will always be my 1st love. Everything else is secondary. Mum's 60 in 2 weeks and dad will be 61 in November. I'd love to give them grandchildren before the Good Lord takes them home (as it must happen one day). But nobody knows the future - only God does. ;)

"The Best Day"

I'm five years old
It's getting cold
I've got my big coat on

I hear your laugh
And look up smiling at you
I run and run

Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides
Look now -- the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep
On the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day
With you today

I'm thirteen now
And don't know how my friends
Could be so mean

I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys

And we drive and drive
Until we've found a town
Far enough away

And we talk and window-shop
Until I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to
Now at school
I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day
With you today

I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out
He's better than I am

I grew up in a pretty house
And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video
I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen
And you're talking to me

It's the age of princesses and pirate ships
And the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart
And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side
Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine

And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say
That I had the best day
With you today

Although they won't be reading this, I really do love my mum & my dad.... even though I don't always show it, and when I usually do, it's usually in quite a warped manner. haha

There goes my hardman reputation.

I'm 20 for a moment.

2009-06-13T20:18:00.007+08:00

I turn 20 today. And I liken myself to a watermelon. At this age, I feel like I've got so much to offer, but I fear that what's inside is really just alot alot ALOT of water.

Philosophical ranting aside, thanks to all my friends who celebrated my 20th with me, or sent their well wishes. love you guys :)

time to paaarrtttttttyyyyy

2009-06-11T00:45:00.002+08:00

Okay, so exams ended on Monday. I can honestly say I'm not too worried about the results. Yes, I may have messed up Performance Management, but hopefully I can bag a pass for that one and move on. Not getting my hopes up for that one though. Law & Taxation were do-able. I'm just glad to be done with them. Now, we wait till August for the results.

In the meantime, I'm going to be off to Senai, Johor from 11-15th June for church camp.

AND, Till 1st July, I'M FREE. WOHOOOOOOO

2009-05-28T16:30:00.002+08:00

As heartbroken as I am about last night, I still have 3 "Cup Finals" to play for from 1st June onwards. It's time to gun for the treble. RJC is the stage. Law, Taxation and Performance Management shall be my canvas. And I hope to be the great artist painting his work of art.

It's time for one more late surge - typical Luke style.

I'm gonna get through this.

2009-05-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

8 more months to ORD!

HAIL THE CHAMPIONS

2009-05-17T18:18:00.002+08:00

Now, Rome awaits!

All Roads Lead To Rome

2009-05-06T18:22:00.001+08:00

90 minutes is all that stands between them and immortality. Believe.

A dream come true?

2009-04-25T18:30:00.002+08:00

I'm delirious.

ETERN ITY

2009-04-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

9 more months to ORD!

Inspirations on the subway on an otherwise languid day

2009-04-12T18:38:00.001+08:00

"Life is a big question. How we live our lives everyday is our answer to the question of life. Therefore, never live your life thoughtlessly."

Love Love Love

2009-04-10T18:42:00.002+08:00

Today being Good Friday and Sunday being Easter Sunday has led me to ponder with an even greater intensity the whole meaning about the concept of "Love".

People say that "Love is blind". That must be the most over-used cliche in the history of mankind. But after much soul-searching, I myself must admit that I have arrived at the same conclusion.

Dear God, thank you for the Cross - the ultimate display of Love whose like this earth shall never see again.

Love is blind, and we are all fools for Love.

Myself included.

thoughts upon waking

2009-04-05T08:50:00.005+08:00

I feel like I've woken up from a dream. A dream that I wished could have gone on forever..

And yet it couldn't have been a dream. I was awake, and savouring every moment of it. It left me wanting more, and I would give the world for another opportunity like that.

The feeling is surreal. Transcendent.

It just blows my mind.

2009-03-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

10 MORE MONTHS TO ORD!

It tears me up.

2009-03-15T20:36:00.005+08:00

I am absolutely gutted after last night. I'm not going to read the papers or go to soccernet or any soccer related websites for a week after this. Well, that can't be too much of a bad thing I suppose - it should leave me with more time to do more important things.

The only consolation was that at least the pizza, the company at Greg's place and the supper after that was worth more than the damned match.

many happy returns

2009-03-02T23:39:00.002+08:00

Another penalty shootout. Yet another cup victory. A typical United performance; always doing things the hard way.

But as sleep deprived as I am because of this, it was all worth it. Now, for the quadruple?! Rome and Wembley(again!) awaits!

February in a nutshell.

2009-02-28T20:22:00.002+08:00

After a 6 month absence, I finally returned to my old stomping ground at SAJC today for some football. There's nothing quite like the feeling of the sun searing your skin and the endless running that makes you gasp for air. Or the feeling of putting that ball in the back of the net. Or the feeling of finally meeting up with your old friends for the first time since Chinese New Year.

I've been busy this month. Helping out in back to back Seminars & Conferences in ulu places like NTU & Chong Pang really sapped my energy. But in every situation, God has always provided. From transports to-and-fro from the conference venues, to food and other many small things.

I'm really grateful that I'm in MPB - ALD, and I wouldn't trade it for any other clerical estab in the whole SAF. I'm blessed to work under officers, DXOs, warrants and specialists who genuinely care. Not to mention the other airmen who serve alongside me, and really make this whole NS experience more bearable. I hope that in every situation, I will have the strength to serve with honour, pride and integrity.

Here's to the last 10 months & 22 days before I ORD. May they be blessed.

2009-02-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

11 more months to ORD!

camp duty > soccer

2009-02-01T20:48:00.000+08:00

luke says:
eh
luke says:
next sat soccer in the morning at punggol
luke says:
can u make it?
Casper. says:
i COS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
luke says:
zzz

This has pretty much been the same problem that S24 soccer team faces week in week out. Guard duties, COS duties, medic duties, clerk duties and God knows what other duties have all been CONSPIRING TO KEEP US OFF THE FIELD/COURT!! :(

ETER NITY

2009-01-22T00:00:00.001+08:00

1 more year to ORD!

At the half-way mark.

Rationality

2009-01-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

Imagine putting all your eggs in one basket without any thought for diversification, and with absolutely no regards to risk. And circumstance has it that all you can do is watch the basket dangling dangerously on the branch of a tree, with you being able to do nothing about it. Or at least you think you can't do anything about it. And each time the wind blows, your heart comes within an inch of a knife. And when the wind stops, you breathe again. And you wonder how long more this torment will last - when will the basket be back around your arm? Or will it ever? Or will it fall off and shatter your hopes and dreams into a million pieces?

I am irrational. Or maybe I'm ......

10 things

2008-12-30T19:17:00.005+08:00

Here's a list of 10 random things that I'm thankful for this year:

Getting my driving licence
being able to study ACCA
my wonderfulgreatawesomefabuloustotallykickass friends from Church, JC, NS, old time friends.. you know who you guys are ;)
my supportive family
being able to work in a wonderful environment like Material Planning Branch in Air Logistics Department, HQ RSAF
being able to come home every night
being able to have free lunch everyday at Air Force School
my place at NUS FASS in 2010
just being alive
But most of all, the Love, Grace and Mercy of God, without which I would not have been able to make it through. :)

There are of course 478327548790127912830129388129654732654912804839 other things that I'm grateful for, but the 10 listed above have to be the highlights of this year.

There's an extra spring in my step now..

2008-12-29T19:41:00.001+08:00

I am pleased to announce that I have got my driving right the 2nd time round. =)

Christmas come early..

2008-12-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

11 months down!

The World is not enough

2008-12-21T22:47:00.001+08:00

ACCA (Part 3 of 14)

2008-12-20T17:01:00.001+08:00

F3 DOWN!!!

2008-12-13T00:00:00.003+08:00

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace,
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Why can't I seem to let go?

ACCA (Part 2 of 14)

2008-12-09T18:15:00.001+08:00

F2 DOWN!!

ACCA (Part 1 of 14)

2008-11-29T12:51:00.002+08:00

F1 DOWN!!

I am slowly, but surely, getting there.

2008-11-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

TEN MONTHS DOWN!

what's next? (part 3)

2008-11-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

So I've been in ALD for 2 months already, and life's been good so far. The food's great (most of the time), I've made lots of great friends, the officers in my branch are really friendly, and my workload hasn't exactly killed me yet. Admittedly, I have yet to learn everything my upperstudy has to teach, but it would seem reasonable to suggest that I will have a measure of time to pursue my own agenda here. I haven't gotten all the leeway that I would have wanted, but it's a give-and-take I guess, and I've seen enough bad places to know how to appreciate what I have now.

So at this moment it would seem that I have made the right choice in leaving MINDEF. But only time will tell. So, what's next?

I failed, therefore I am philosophical (part 2)

2008-11-07T22:07:00.001+08:00

"I have to be ambitious. I have to try because if I don't try, I don't score goals. Sometimes I don't make the best decisions, but it's like a girl - you have to try." - Cristiano Ronaldo on the virtue of persistence.

I failed, therefore I am philosophical.

2008-11-06T18:17:00.001+08:00

A driving test is like a football cup final, when all that stands between you and ultimate glory is a few minutes. You can play very well, dominate possession, and pepper the opponent's goal with shots for the entire game. But all it takes is a single mistake, a single moment of madness, and you can lose it.

The only good thing about this is the complete absence of "GG no RM".

ETE RNITY

2008-10-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

9 months down!

That's the ETE in ETERNITY (if you don't get it, it's three-eights i.e. 3/8).. but still five-eights left to go.. zzz.

Some days just aren't worth it..

2008-10-22T07:04:00.000+08:00

You know you're jaded when you wake up in the morning, and the first thought that crosses your mind is "Some days just aren't worth it.."

Do I really have to go to camp today?

2008-10-20T07:12:00.000+08:00

You know you're jaded when you wake up in the morning, and the first thought that crosses your mind is "Do I really have to go to camp today?"

I love Fridays

2008-10-17T22:14:00.000+08:00

You know you're jaded when the only thing that interest's you is when Friday will come.. cause that means you're another week closer to ORD..

Ang Kong Kia

2008-10-15T22:42:00.009+08:00

Last night, I had what must have been one of the weirdest dreams in my life.

I'm walking out of a tattoo parlor with this new tattoo on my left arm. I look at the new tattoo my arm, and I'm thinking "Hey, in retrospect this one doesn't look too nice.. oh darn - it's permanent. I suppose I could remove it, but what a pain that's gonna be.." And then there's this regret that I shouldn't have got my arm tattooed and all. Talk about being fickle minded.

Which brings us to the subject in this post - Ang Kongs. Personally, I have nothing against having tattoos. I can picture some of you screaming at the sight of that statement, but no worries - I'm about to address all that from both a religious perspective, and a secular moralistic point of view.

Firstly, and correct me if I'm wrong, there is nothing in the Bible that explicitly states that having a tattoo is wrong. That is of course, assuming that having a tattoo is not an act of self-mutilation. And I would think that this is all relative. To elaborate on this point, it's not whether you have one on your body, it's what you put on your body that counts. For simplicity, I will classify them under 2 groups:

So-totally-wrong-that-you-shouldn't-even-consider-it
Benign

I cannot claim to have seen how the majority of tattoos look like (although I've seen some really weird and quirky ones on Miami Ink), but stuff like dragons, grotesque faces and occult symbols are a DEFINITE NO NO. This is the first group.

The second category classified as "benign" would have two sub-groups:

meaningful
utterly meaningless

Meaningful tattoos include stuff like having the names of your wife/family/children tattooed on your body. David Beckham has a tattoo written in Hebrew - אני לדודי ודודי לי הרעה בשושנים, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine, that shepherds among the lilies." This is from the Hebrew Bible, and a popular Jewish paean to fidelity. But of course, talk is cheap/actions speak louder than words, and I'd rather he'd stayed faithful to his wife from the beginning, but there is probably no doubting Beckham's intentions for getting this particular tattoo..

Totally random stuff like rockets(I saw a physicist get one like that on Miami Ink), symbols that look like a poor imitated drawing of the quiksilver logo or anchors, would fall under the second sub-group. This is totally random, but I had this guy in my BMT company who had a tattoo of mushrooms on his chest. And I know someone who has Tweety Bird tattooed on her neck.

Having said all that, you may want to know what was tattooed in my arm in the dream. And if I recall correctly, it looked like some sort of plant. -.-

Secondly, yes the Bible does state that "You were bought at a price, therefore honour God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:20. All well and good, but getting a benign tattoo is not the same as say, chasing the dragon or pushing crack.

My third argument is that we should not be too quick to be stereotypical. Having a tattoo does not necessarily make one a "bad person" or "undesirable company" as much as working in the police force makes one a "good person". There are of course, more socially acceptable ways to express your love. But it's a free world, and ultimately it's your prerogative. So you can't question the idiosyncrasies of others, just as you wouldn't want to be judged by your own idiosyncrasy.

Ultimately, I think this is a theologically Grey area. And while you would probably have to put up with stereotypical labeling by some elements in society, there is nothing wrong at all from a secular moral perspective. Theologically speaking, having a meaningful tattoo is not entirely wrong, but it may not be entirely right either. But if I were to take a stand, I'd say that if it's for a meaningful purpose, and it's not too obtrusive, it should be OKAY. A religious answer would be to say that a Christian considering getting a tattoo should pray for wisdom and discernment.

So you must be thinking by now that I'm probably writing all this with the intention of getting one, or to justify my choice if I choose to have one in the future. My answer to that is no, I have no intention of getting one at the moment. But as Cristiano Ronaldo likes to say, "I don't know the future - only God does. But in the future, who knows?"

Disclaimer: the views expressed in this post are STRICTLY my own and do not at any point, reflect the views of the Church, or what Jesus would say/think/do if He was physically present in flesh on Earth in this day and age. May the Good Lord and you, the reader, forgive me if anything I have written here is theologically unsound and/or ethically flawed. Also, just so you know, if I do get tattooed, it would probably be after I get married, with explicit permission from my wife, and rest assured - it'll be a meaningful one.

Sweet relief..... from paranoia

2008-10-14T18:55:00.007+08:00

The best thing my eyes have seen today.

Upon first glance, I thought that there must have been an error of some sort. Upon closer inspection however, it turned out to be what I was looking for - reassurance. This picture now releases me from a paranoia that's been bugging me ever since I submitted my NUS acceptance wayy back in May this year..

Somehow, I was perpetually plagued by the thought that "an act of God" might have caused my online acceptance not to go through. And despite this :

and later, this:

I was somehow never at peace. That's real paranoia for you - An insistence on believing(not entirely true in my case, but you get the idea) something despite OVERWHELMING evidence for the contrary.

I must admit that NUS(unlike NTU & SMU) refusal to send congratulatory letters to those who accepted their place is extremely annoying. Anyway, now that the truth is here in black and white, I can finally breathe the free air again.

Happy Belated Birthday Clarence!

2008-09-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

Went back to SA today with the S24 guys and played on the new synthetic turf for the very first time. Our lack of playing time together on the field/courts this year cost our team dear as the following score would show you: JC 1 Kids 7 S24 soccer team 3.

Wow. I was actually thinking before the game that our team's general substantial increase in fitness since last year (4 of our 6 team members have GOLD for IPPT, 1 silver and I'm obviously getting fat.) should more or less enable us to outrun and outscore most opponents that we would face. But it seems that our team chemistry is relatively poor compared to last year. Obviously due to our lack of games together. We seem to have forgotten how to play/link-up with each other on the pitch, and for 2 hours we were running up and down the pitch like headless chickens and conceding goals from poor marking, and a general lack of communication and understanding between ourselves. I myself have only played 4 times this year before yesterday's game.

It was a good workout nonetheless, and I do hope that we'll be able to get more games this year, although this seems unlikely as all of us are very keen to avoid any form of injury(we have 1 OCT, 1 Platoon Sergeant, Clarence is learning to drive, and I have my TP on 6th November, not to mention ACCA exams to sit for).

Anyway, the point of the game(and this entry) was to wish Clarence a happy 19th birthday and to present him with his present - a Arsenal(they lost last night. HAHA) jersey. So happy birthday Clarence!

And a totally random note, thanks for the present Gab!

1/3 through!

2008-09-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

I've officially served a third of my NS liability.. 2/3 of eternity left to go..

The value of Silence

2008-09-19T19:08:00.003+08:00

To all things comes an end.

As I packed up my cubicle today and bade my farewells to all my friends, I couldn't help but to feel a tinge of sadness and possibly even regret at my departure. Perhaps I was giving up too easily, perhaps I'm too naive to even believe in the possibility of greener pastures elsewhere, perhaps I should have at least stayed till the end of the year before re-evaluating my position, perhaps perhaps perhaps.

But I've made my choice, and for good or ill, I'll have to live with whatever consequences it may bring for the next 16 months.

As I said my goodbyes, my BMT section mate(who works in a different department on the same floor) said "You know Luke, I really don't know what to say."

A very long silence followed. And the truth was, I was at a loss for words too. I really didn't know what to say. I didn't even know if there was anything to say. There was only a feeling of facing the inevitable end. Perhaps sometimes, saying goodbye is all we can do.

I know too well that even friends can drift apart once they stop communicating regularly. But alas, that's part and parcel of life, and we move on. This experience summarized the "so-hard-to-stay-too-hard-to-leave" feeling that's been haunting me ever since I got my letter. But I'll move on, I'm sure, and at the same time, really strive to keep in contact with the MINDEF guys.

"Someone once told me that we should always remember the good times, and leave the bad parts of the past behind." I answered.

More silence followed.

"So this is goodbye I guess. Take care, we'll keep in contact through the OA." I said, as I shook his hand and left his office.

Silence is a beautiful thing sometimes, because it conveys feelings that mere words cannot express. A silence filled with unsaid/unresolved thoughts and feelings can speak more than a thousand words.

Today is the day I close another chapter in my NS life, and another new chapter begins next Monday when I report to ALD. I'll treasure my 6 month MINDEF experience, and thanks for the memories guys.

But to all ends comes a beginning.

what's next? (part 2)

2008-09-16T18:39:00.002+08:00

It's official. I'm going back to PLAB(Air Logistics Department, to be more precise) next monday.

what's next?

2008-09-03T20:27:00.002+08:00

After a particularly traumatizing experience which consisted of endless vomiting/retching, severe vertigo, tinnitus, being rushed to hospital in an ambulance and spending the night there under observation and on a drip, I now find myself on a 7 day MC.

Many thanks to all those who showed care and concern in my time of need. I really appreciate it. =)

Bulgarian Pride

2008-09-02T10:13:00.000+08:00

"Just picture this: Berbatov, Rooney, Tevez and Ronaldo heading at you. God have mercy on our opponents." - A United supporter upon Berbatov's 30.75 Million Pound move to United.

My sentiments exactly.

what's next?

2008-09-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

The letter’s been given. It’s time to leave. But what’s next?

What do you do when staying is a zero-sum game?

2008-08-31T20:35:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the day which will change the course of my future for the next 17 months. And as much as I want to leave, I think I'll be doing so with a heavy heart. It always sucks to leave good friends behind.

Alas, but for all the unresolved feelings bottled up inside me.

The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight

2008-08-28T23:42:00.001+08:00

Met up with the S24 guys again today before Casper flies off. And we remembered that fateful day 2 years ago..

I wonder where his soul is now, how his family is coping, and what lies and thoughts of utter hopelessness and despair went through his mind before he took that final plunge into darkness.

And with a tinge of guilt in my heart, I wonder why we never made any attempt to reach out to his family after his passing..

But although he may be gone, he will certainly not be forgotten. But alas, there are some wounds that even time cannot heal.

Dear God, please continue to be with his family.

ET is a quarter of ETERNITY

2008-07-25T13:00:00.002+08:00

I've lived a quarter of eternity since 25th January 2010. 3 quarters of eternity left to go.

2008-07-20T18:41:00.001+08:00

I finally broke my 2 year scoring duck for PLH today. As unglam and lucky as it was, a goal is still a goal, and a 8-7 win is still a win. =)

Home

2008-07-16T17:10:00.004+08:00

I went back to SAJC today to collect my School Graduation Certificate. Strangely enough, I decided to make a detour to the SAS D&T Workshop after collecting my cert to check whether my O Level artifact was still there. Had a chat with old uncle Tan and was pleasantly surprised that he still remembered me.

I always thought that I would miss St Andrew's after I left, given the 12 years of my life that I spent wearing white & blue. But I kinda realised today that I've more or less moved on with life in a sense that I don't reminisice about reliving the good ol' days anymore. But I kinda of think that my memories of SAS are dearer to my heart than those of SAJC. Maybe it's because to me, SAJC was only ever like a transit terminal in an airport. Everybody is on their way to somewhere else(In this case, different faculties in different universities), and maybe you might meet someone who's boarding the same plane as you. But in the end, it's very temporary. Your flight departs, and you leave the place behind forever.

The precious memories that I have of St Andrew's aren't those of new campuses, holding campuses or classrooms (though I have good memories of those places too). My memories of the place live on in the people who have been in some way or another a real blessing to me. In retrospect, I was really blessed to have such great teachers who guided me along the way, bore with my adolescent behaviour and after it all, still recognise me after 3 years, and in my NS hairstyle! And for as long as those people stay in the school, a part of me will always be there. I realised that all the things that I once held dear - All records of my past glories in school(academic honours, prefectorial board, outstanding CCA records) have faded in the sands of time, remembered only by few(but certainly not the new generation of students). The wind blows and it's gone. I understand now that life is about rooting yourself to things that are eternal, not the temporary things of this world. Your fame, fortune and successes are forgotten after a few years, and it's really not what life is about anyway.

And so I left the school, with a smile on my face, and perhaps with a deeper magnitude of understanding in my heart about life.

"And I know that no matter what I may say about SA, the blood that flows through my veins will truly only ever be, white and blue."

2008-07-12T15:12:00.003+08:00

"I, for one, had the notion they might hit up Hughesie when this happened, but his dreadful alignment with Mordor now rules that out." - A football pundit's take on Mark Hughes and his new found allegiance(Manchester City) when quizzed about a possible replacement for Carlos Queiroz.

Hilarious.

My friends, this will be a day to remember..

2008-06-13T23:13:00.010+08:00

One fine day…

Today was my off day, which I spent going on a trail with batch 02. Jonny and monkey POP-ed this week, so we thought that this block leave period would be an opportune period to catch up again. So we met up at 8am at vivo city to go for makan 1^st. Following which, we waited till 10.30am for the crocs shop to open so that Ken Wee could buy something for his dad. So while waiting..

View of Harbourfront Ferry Terminal.

I saw this at Giant supermart, and I couldn't resist taking a shot.

View of the sky from where I was lying.

After that..

Henderson Waves.

Reminiscent of the one I saw(and killed) during field camp.. I'm not a fan of arachnids for the record.

Lunch was at botak jones opposite CMPB. Apart from the inability of the staff to speak or comprehend English, coupled with their unhealthy obsession with trying to charge me $4 for cheese (which I never ordered, and it never appeared anyway) on my burger, lunch was more or less okay. After lunch, we dragged our lazy and sleepy bodies up the hill to resume our trail…

So we walked and we talked, walked and talked…

Till we reached

After that, it was a slow walk down the hill, running to catch the bus to Harbourfront, and going our separate ways again.

There’s no other way I’d rather spend my 19^th birthday – with my buddies for all of 6.5 years since we 1^st met wayyyy back in 2002… scouting days..haha

Us with ARMOUR.

Check, I’m happy.

Randomly..

2008-06-01T22:57:00.003+08:00

Randomly, being down with food poisoning really sucks. Especially when you're a good 20+ minute train ride from home - believe me, it felt like forever.

Anyway, I've accepted NUS FASS and appealed for NTU Maritime Studies (for the fun of it, cause I'm more than happy to accept NUS, and I'm not really expecting to land this anyway. But in the unlikely event that this appeal is successful, then I shall have - for the 1st time in a long time, a happy dilemma to deal with). And as I said last year on the 1st of October before my A Levels, "But alas, there is no limit to the human propensity for day-dreaming and fantasising, and the clinging to vain hopes in the evidence of overwhelming evidence, and to nurture unrealistic expectations and ambitions. Well, out of the compost sometimes grow surprising blossoms of novelty and success. So, I shall continue to cling on to whatever little hope I have."

And my quest for something to study has finally led me to pursue the ACCA qualification. With determination and a great thirst for knowledge, completing the 1st 9 modules during my NS should be a great possibility. I've got great hope for the future, and I hope this will be my 1st stepping stone in my quest for a great starting career. Hopefully, jwwwwwwwww (my buddy from BMT) will be joining me too.

And to end off, life's great - and NS is getting better.